This year’s Brit Music Award nominations have just been announced and I haven’t stopped laughing since the list was published.
Unfortunately it’s clear, right from the start, that the people who produced this list have spent far too long stuffing coke up their noses. Or Ketamine up their bottoms.
It’s obvious that, in the heads of the Brit panel at least, more than their septums have rotted away; they’ve lost all power of reasoning and deduction.
Instead of working my way through the full list, pulling salient points, one-by-one, I’d just like to focus on the most glaringly obvious public declarations of mental illness, by the Brit panel.
- Best British Male solo artist:
- Noel Gallagher
- James Morrison
- James Blake
- Professor Green
- Ed Sheeran
- Best British Group:
- Arctic Monkeys
- Chase and Status
- Best International newcomer:
- Aloe Blacc
- Bon Iver
- Foster the People
- Lana Del Ray
- Nicki Minaj
This is completely incomprehensible. How can an artist (Bon Iver), who started recording their work, under label, in 2007, and released an album, under label, in 2008, be regarded as a (I almost hesitate to use the word) ‘newcomer’ in 2011? Is this some weird, drugged-up definition of ‘new’ or ‘newcomer’ that only the people who
fuck up make up the list of Brit nominations use? By the Lord Fucking Harry, these people really are mental.
So there we have it, just a few very good reasons why the Brits are now completely discredited, and why – like the last member of the soon-to-be-extinct species of Dinosaur, the Brits (and the music industry they represent) will soon be nothing more than a small pile of dust.